I was thinking about it last night before I went to bed and I realize that one of the reasons why I've been feeling upset about Scott's death is that it comes pretty close to what happened with the death of my father: in that he died very suddenly and unexpectedly, although in both cases looking back, there werre warning signs; and also in that neither one took very good care of themselve physically and I'm guilty of that as well.
And I see this as a sort of a warning sign, a chance for me to get my act together and haul my raggedy ass out to the gym.
I'm not looking forward to the funeral, it's starting in about four hours, and I'm just sitting here this afternoon, trying to keep myself calm. There's this sense of turmoil inside of me and I know that I'm probably going to start crying at the funeral, but I realize that that's what it's for.
Anyway, I think I'm just going to end it here, thanks.