as I live a few more questions

"He's a HUMAN! ... He hasn't killed anyone in years!"

Oh, you just knew that this was gonna happen.

Bridezilla Meltdown: And you thought YOU were having a bad hair day....

This video starts off with three bridesmaids sipping champagne and making last minute adjustments to their outfits, waiting for the bride to show up from her hair appointment and put her wedding dress on.  I won't spoil the rest, but trust me on this: If you ever thought that YOU were having a really bad day, you ain't got NOTHING on this bride!  This is one of the funniest things I've ever seen on YouTube, and the fact that it showed up there at all, probably means that she's not speaking to at least one of her bridesmaids anymore!

UPDATE FEBRUARY 2nd: Turns out this was a hoax.

(Source: I found this via Lainey's Entertainment Update, a great Hollywood gossip blog)

Web Wanderings: Superdickery

Yes, I know, it sounds like a cheesy porn site, but Superdickery started out as a collection of old comic book covers showing Superman being...well, being a dickhead:

Q: How'd this all start?

 

A: Back in November of 2004, a guy named Mike Miksch started a thread at a Transformers message board called The Allspark about insane comic book covers throughout the ages. Initially it was a laugh in at the expense of Lois Lane Comics, but before the responses had gotten past even the first page, Mike had posted a pair of pictures depicting Superman burning a father's day gift from Jimmy and laughing in Lois's face as she begged him to prevent her from being forced to marry Titanman, and inadvertently set the tone for the resulting 30+ pages of responses:

Superman is a dick.

Technically he said "Superman is such a dick," but the "such" was subsequently dropped from the mantra. And from there it spread across a fair number of blogs and other discussion board forums, which Mike didn't become aware of until his coworker came up to him and told him that he'd seen the thread and was surprised to see that Mike started it. From there it was imitated by I-Mockery when they did a write up about about stupid comic book covers focusing on Jimmy Olsen comics. That made the front page of Fark.com, where someone posted a link to the original thread on The Allspark, so it all came full circle.

At more than a quarter million views, that thread beats out the nearest competitor ten times over. Such is the appeal of Superman is a Dick.

(Source: Superdickery FAQ)

From there, the website has grown, and now there are galleries devoted to just about every aspect of American comic book art that you can make fun of.  I found myself laughing out loud at the funny/bad/warpedness of it all.  Here's an example from the "Weird Science" gallery at right. 

Superdickery

Have a ghettofabulous elf-dancing Christmas

Something for you to do while you're waiting for Elf Yourself to load: Pimp My Nutcracker!

See yours truly as a dancing elf (Be afraid.  Be.  Very.  Afraid.)

Soy Made Me Gay

James Rutz, author and chairman of Megashift Ministries, claims that soy makes kids gay: "Soy is feminizing, and commonly leads to a decrease in the size of the penis, sexual confusion and homosexuality. That's why most of the medical (not socio-spiritual) blame for today's rise in homosexuality must fall upon the rise in soy formula and other soy products." 

read more | digg story

Yip yip yip yip yip!

Someone finally posted some video of this.  I used to love watching this as a kid!

Musical Interlude: The Complaints Choir of Birmingham

I cannot even begin to explain this one:  the Complaints Choir of Birmingham.

And even if you don't speak a word of Finnish, don't miss the Complaints Choir of Helsinki.

(Source: Seth Godin's blog)

Musical Interlude: Achtung X-mas!

Tyskarna från Lund is a satirical Swedish synthpop band who performs in German.  The nearest sound I can compare them to would be the Buggles (remember them, Video Killed The Radio Star?)

Anyway, this funny little number is my selection for today's, ahem, Musical Interlude.  Enjoy :-)

Have you started your Christmas shopping yet?

"You see, Reverend Haggard is a vociferous spokesperson against gay marriage and, until yesterday, his wife probably had no idea she was actually in one."

Oh hell.  I just couldn't resist another swim through the Schadenfreude.

Betty Bowers on the Ted Haggard scandal.

Ted Haggard, the Rentboy, and some Meth = De-NIII-al

It's not often you burst out laughing before you even finish the first paragraph of a Reuters news report:

COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. (Reuters) - Embattled evangelist Ted Haggard admitted on Friday to buying the drug methamphetamine and seeking a massage from a gay male prostitute but denied he had sex with the man or used the stimulant.

I mean, just how stupid can this minister be?  He's going to rentboy for a massage?  Must not be that picky about what kind of massage he gets--or maybe he's very, very picky :-) ooh that was evil. 

I mean, honestly, according to Global national news just on (yes, it made Canadian news too!), this man is apparently a key link between Bush and his conservative, homophobic Christian base. 

How appallingly bad does your judgment have to be, just days before a key mid-term election already embroiled in a gay scandal or two, to go buy crystal meth from a gay prostitute?  I can only assume that Rev. Haggard is a secret spy from the Meth Mothers of America (*rolls on the floor in laughter*) and the... the... the Rentboy Republican Values Coalition.  Yeah, that's the ticket.

I'm just surfing through the blogs via Technorati, seeing that the blogosphere has to say.  Here's a sample of good ones:

• Okay, we get it, he didn't inhale. And, of course, a man who made a career out of preaching discrimination against gays is going to make sure that the massage he receives is from a male prostitute. It all makes perfect sense. (scootmandubious)
  


• The fact that he was seeing a gay prostitute isn't the issue. That's just a symptom of the problem. No, the issue is this toxic faith that reeks havoc in so many lives. It's toxic faith that pushed him into cumpulsory heterosexuality, it's toxic faith that pushed him to preach that gay people are going to hell (while getting fucked on the side). It's a faith that places utmost importance on appearance rather than action.  It's a faith that gives a sense of pride, self-importance, and entitlement. 
  
  It's true that Christ forgives us. But forgiveness doesn't mean that we won't face earthly consequences. These things needed to be brought to light. Maybe this will encourage Evangelicals to look more closely at their positions on homosexuality. (lizzypaul)



• I find it very funny that the people who are for banning gay marriage and gay rights - let me rephrase that... People behind denying anyone their rights as human beings just because of a difference in appearance, lifestyle, culture or religion are the same people who have these hidden lives that they are ashamed of.

  Shame on you for projecting your self loathing onto the rest of us. We are all residents of society and as such we should all be treated the same way and have the option of getting married. (Andy)




• So here is the thing for me Ted, can I call you Ted? I am happy for you if you are "steady" with your wife. I hope that you two have a strong, happy marriage. I hope that the two of you go on to have a really wonderful life together into ripe old age and that the current drama you are embroiled in doesn't adversely effect your relationship. I don't think that dabbling with a prostitute, or even using meth* NECESSARILY makes you a bad person, a bad husband or a bad father.

  I am not going to judge you for the things you have done, I have not walked in your shoes, I don't know why you may have done any of this - as long as you own them, take responsibility and make amends where necessary. I have no problem with you getting a little back door action from Mr Jones if that was the case.

  Where I do have a problem is you getting up and denouncing me and mine. Saying that my life, the loves that I have found, are not of equal value to yours is not your place or your right. Particularly if its a cover for your own guilt as it appears to be.

  Time and again it seems the most rabid fag haters turn out to actually be hiding some inclinations of their own; Mr Foley, the onetime chairman of the House Caucus on Missing and Exploited Children and accused peadophile, is a sad case in point; and as you appear to be Ted. (robert)

And of course, the digging begins.  Channel 9 News in Denver (NBC I believe) has a report on voicemail messages Haggard left for his "massage buddy".  Here's an example:

Jones provided two voice messages to 9NEWS he claims are Haggard calling him.

The voice mails are from a man who calls himself "Art."

It should be noted Haggard's middle name is Arthur.

The first voice message, left on August 4 at 2:18 p.m., says:

"Hi Mike, this is Art. Hey, I was just calling to see if we could get any more. Either $100 or $200 supply. And I could pick it up really anytime. I could get it tomorrow or we could wait till next week sometime and so I also wanted to get your address. I could send you some money for inventory but that's probably not working, so if you have it then go ahead and get what you can and I may buzz up there later today, but I doubt your schedule would allow that unless you have some in the house. Okay, I'll check in with you later. Thanks a lot, bye."

The second voice message, left on August 4 at 5:10 p.m., says:

"Hi Mike, this is Art, I am here in Denver and sorry that I missed you. But as I said, if you want to go ahead and get the stuff, then that would be great. And I'll get it sometime next week or the week after or whenever. I will call though you early next week to see what's most convenient for you. Okay? Thanks a lot, bye."

Jones claims Art is referring to methamphetamine in the messages.

9NEWS had a nationally known voice recognition expert, Richard Sanders, listen to the voice mails to determine if it is Haggard.

Sanders has previously worked on such high profile cases as the Oklahoma City bombing trial, the Columbine High School shootings, the JonBenet Ramsey murder investigation and the Kobe Bryant case.

"This certainly sounds like the same person," said Sanders.

Ted, you are SO busted.