as I live a few more questions

I'm baaack...

...ya miss me?  ;-) 

Well, one thing I have discovered in my Internet "diet" (I won't say I was off the Internet completely, because I was checking my email and my facebook page every so often) is that, while you can certainly spend too much time on the Internet, it's also very difficult to live 100% without it nowadays.  As an example, I spent part of August writing fiction for the Brokeback Mountain fanfic community i am part of, and you would not believe how frustrating it is not to be able to quickly check some fact without the Internet handy.  For example, for one chapter I needed to understand exactly how one makes a Molotov cocktail, since one of my main characters has one thrown through her kitchen window (remember folks: conflict drives plot).

Anyways, to get the ball rolling, I wanted to highlight something that I found on my one of my favourite browse-through sites, metafilter.  A comment on a recent post about polygamous Mormons has put into writing something that I have often used in my arguments against those who want to deny same-sex marriage rights to queers because the Bible lays out the guidelines for a "traditional" marriage.  I have argued that there has NEVER been a "traditional" standard of marriage, that it has varied a lot in differnet cultures and eras, and this commenter backs my assertion up:

I'd like to point out - because I've not been given a chance to yet on metafilter - that whether you're a fundamentalist Mormon, a fundamentalist Baptist or a fundamentalist Presbyterian, there is simply no valid argument to be made for "traditional" marriage by drawing on scripture. None. Not in the Hebrew Bible or the New Testament. The Hebrew Bible is quite possibly the worst place to start - the language it was written in doesn't even contain a word for "wife." It has the designator "his" - as in, "his woman," even for "his first," or "his second" woman and so on. But there's no word for wife. Women are purely property - utterly in the same sense as "his oxen" or "his seventy two slaves and fourteen comely eunuchs." The New Testament is an even worse place to begin - if that's even possible - Paul sure as hell didn't want us getting married. ESPECIALLY (you can tell I'm using science) because the world was about to end - which is what most fundamentalists believe! He says, "Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife." He goes on - "Yet those who marry will experience distress in this life, and I would spare you that. I mean, brothers and sisters, the appointed time has grown short; from now on, let even those who have wives be as though they had none, and those who mourn as thought they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no possessions, and those who deal with the world as thought they had no dealings with it. For the present form of this world is passing away."

He also states clearly that marriage is not a sin - but there are plenty of things that aren't considered sins in the Bible (drinking wine in moderation) that fundamentalists avoid.

This has always been something that bothered me.

Of course, I suppose I shouldn't look to the fundies for a bastion of clear scriptural interpretation.

So far that one comment has received an amazingly high number of "favorites" among metafilter readers; obviously it's struck a chord.

US Military wanted to build a 'Gay Bomb'

"A Berkeley watchdog organization that tracks military spending said it uncovered a strange U.S. military proposal to create a hormone bomb that could purportedly turn enemy soldiers into homosexuals and make them more interested in sex than fighting."  Uh, yeah...  right... god I would love to get my hands on the original proposal for this.  It would make for hilarious reading, no doubt.

read more | digg story

(Picture is from a completely unrelated and completely stereotype-ridden Scandinavian reality TV show).

And For My Birthday...

Only 18 shopping days (including today), before my birthday (hint, hint...)

What I really, really want is this (either plain, or dipped in chocolate)... but I'm willing to settle for any similar, uhh, confection.

(Oh I am so going to hell for this...)

Boxing Day Musical Interlude: Many Gifts 2006

As promised earlier, links to the music pieces performed by the Rainbow Harmony Project at our 2006 holiday concert are here:

• • Many Gifts Part 1
  • Many Gifts Part 2

Note: These pages may take several minutes to load.  All music files require the QuickTime web browser plug-in, available here. 

For those of you lucky enough not to have to work retail today (and smart enough not to stand in line all morning at some electronics store waiting for the doors to open), grab some of that leftover eggnog or mulled wine, kick back, and enjoy. 

Soy Made Me Gay

James Rutz, author and chairman of Megashift Ministries, claims that soy makes kids gay: "Soy is feminizing, and commonly leads to a decrease in the size of the penis, sexual confusion and homosexuality. That's why most of the medical (not socio-spiritual) blame for today's rise in homosexuality must fall upon the rise in soy formula and other soy products." 

read more | digg story

Here We Go Again...

A second Denver-area evangelical megachurch pastor steps down after admitting he cheated on his wife with other men:

A month ago, the Rev. Paul Barnes of Grace Chapel in Douglas County preached to his 2,100-member congregation about integrity and grace in the aftermath of the Ted Haggard drugs-and-gay-sex scandal.

Now, the 54-year-old Barnes joins Haggard as a fallen evangelical minister who preached that homosexuality was a sin but grappled with a hidden life.

"I have struggled with homosexuality since I was a 5-year-old boy," Barnes said in the 32- minute video, which church leaders permitted The Denver Post to view. "... I can't tell you the number of nights I have cried myself to sleep, begging God to take this away."

...

Sitting cross-legged in jeans and an open-collar shirt, Barnes spoke in his video about evolving feelings growing up in a firm moral family: from confused little boy to adolescent racked with self-loathing and guilt.

In their only talk about sex, Barnes said his father took him on a drive and talked about what he would do if a "fag" approached him.

Barnes thought, "'Is that how you'd feel about me?' It was like a knife in my heart, and it made me feel even more closed."

Heartbreaking.  And unfortunately, his story is not unusual among gays and lesbians.  The pressure to conform and the fear of rejection can twist a life beyond recognition.  I feel sorry for Rev. Barnes, not scorn. 

Hallelujah, Dan Savage!

Dan Savage is a columnist who happens to be gay, and who writes a love and sex advice column called "Savage Love".  And he just wrote a column that sums up how I feel about the whole "ex-gay" movement exactly.  So, I'll give a link to it, but it's so good I'm just gonna quote the whole thing here. 

I consider Rev. Ted Haggard a beaten-to-death topic, and I am now retiring it from Ryan's Rant list :-)

I live in Colorado Springs, home to the right-wing conservative evangelical movement. As the nation recently learned, the founder of New Life Church, Ted Haggard, was fired after a male prostitute revealed that Haggard bought sex and drugs from him. It's hard not to feel a bit sorry for him, even though I have always hated everything Haggard stood for. How do you view all of this? Does Haggard deserve our sympathy? Or do we point our fingers and laugh?

Confused Coloradoan

 

[Dan Savage's response]

We should make a joyful noise, CC, whenever a powerful hypocrite is exposed. God should bless Mike Jones, the male prostitute who exposed Ted Haggard, and you should balance whatever sympathy you feel for Haggard against the misery he inflicted on the countless numbers of gay young people his church has "counseled." If you want to feel bad for someone, feel bad for Haggard's kids, not Haggard himself.

Now, I realize Haggard is ancient fucking history at this point—there was an election last week, huh?—but there's something I just gotta get off my chest: For more than a decade, the religious right has insisted that homosexuality can be cured. Just give your heart to Jesus, and—poof!—you're straight! If there is any justice in the world—and there seems to be, judging from last week's election returns—Haggard's downfall should be the death of the "ex-gay" movement. No more ex-gay ad campaigns, no more credulous stories about "successful" ex-gays in daily papers or on cable news.

Arguing with religious people about the futility of giving your heart to Jesus—at least where "cures" for homosexual orientation are concerned—can be maddening. As with evolution, they aren't moved by science, data, or irksome facts. Not even the existence of ex-ex-gays gives them pause. Anything is possible through Christ, they blandly insist, and if you're sincere enough in your devotion to Christ, if you invite him into your heart, he will cure you.

Hello, fundies? I know you're reading this, because every week I get e-mails from concerned Christians who just happened to chance upon my column—cough, cough—and write to share the wonderful news: I don't have to be gay! If I give my heart to Jesus—if I have faith—he will cure me!

Well, my fundie friends, did you see that letter of apology Haggard wrote to his congregation? I'd like to wrap it around a brick and shove it up all of your fat asses. But since I can't do that, I'll just quote from it. In his mea gulpa (Haggard gives lousy head, according to Jones), Haggard copped to "sexual immorality" and described himself as "a deceiver and a liar." Those details made it into most of the headlines. These details didn't:

"Describing a lifelong battle against temptations that were contrary to his teachings," says the Denver Post, "[Haggard] had sought assistance 'in a variety of ways,' and while he had stretches of 'freedom,' nothing proved effective. 'There is a part of my life that is so repulsive and dark that I've been warring against it all of my adult life,' Haggard wrote." [Emphasis added.]

If you believe that Jesus Christ can change the sexual orientation of a believer, why on earth did he refuse to cure Haggard? Haggard founded a church that has 14,000 members! Thousands were brought to Christ by Haggard's preaching. Mixed in with Ted's meth-fueled gay-sex romps and hypocritical gay-bashings were, without a doubt, thousands of good works.

Did Jesus help Haggard out? No. Haggard struggled with temptation all his life. He tried to battle off his "dark" desires, but nothing proved effective. There was no cure for Haggard, no miracle. No matter how long he struggled, no matter how much faith he had, Haggard's sexual orientation remained unchanged. Nothing helped. Not prayer, not Jesus H. Christ on his cross.

Nothing.

If giving his heart to Jesus couldn't cure Haggard, what hope is there for the likes of me? If Jesus can't be bothered to work a miracle for the most powerful evangelical minister in the country, what "hope" is there for the average dyke?

None.

The ex-gay thing is over. It's dead. It was bullshit from the start, and it's bullshit now. And I will personally track down and bitch-slap the next fundie douche who sends me an e-mail explaining how Jesus can cure me. And I will personally track down and shit in the mouth of the next cable-news anchor who entertains—even for an instant—the notion of a miracle cure for homosexuality.

Consider yourself warned, Paula Zahn.

(Source: Dan Savage, Savage Love column, Nov. 15, 2006)

I'll Take "Repulsive and Dark" for 500, Please

Steve Schalchlin of Los Angeles, writer of the blog The Bonus Round, writes further on one of the issues that I touched on briefly in my previous post: how the underlying assumptions about homosexuality as "dark" and "repulsive" are a big part of the problem here in Ted Haggard's rehabilitation.  He says it much, much better than I could, so just go read it yourself.  Thanks.

I'm gonna get off this hobby horse for now; I'm starting to get splinters in my ass ;-)

Two Journeys (Part I)

Today two things happened:

1. For the first time in almost a decade, I set foot inside a Lutheran church for Sunday worship.
2. Rev. Ted Haggard released his letter of explanation and apology to his New Life Church.

I left the Lutheran church I was baptised, raised, confirmed in, and married in, when I finally came out to myself and my family and friends.  At that time there were two pastors in our church.  The elder pastor, with whom I had shared my story and my secret, was very accepting.  But he warned me that the junior pastor would not be as accepting.

Shortly afterward, the elder pastor was let go (there were nasty church politics involved, as always).  It was then that I requested, and received, a transfer of membership to Augustine United in Osborne Village.  I'm sure many members assumed that my departure was related to the firing of my favourite pastor, but there was a stronger reason.  Augustine United is one of several United Church of Canada congregations that was an Affirming church (that is, one where it was made explicit that GLBTQ people were full and equal members of the congregation).  In fact, Augustine was the first such church in Canada, designated an Affirming congregation in 1995.

Why did I leave?  I had gone through a difficult coming-out, after three decades of both conscious and unconscious self-repression, and I was worn out, angry, and depressed.  I simply did not have the energy to stay where I was and defend myself against those in the Lutheran pews who did not (and would not) understand.  I wanted to be somewhere where it was WRITTEN DOWN that I could be a gay Christian and accepted as that, without having to change one or the other.

I'll continue this in Part II.  I'll just close by sharing one of the thoughts I had when I read this portion of Pastor Ted's letter:

Our church's overseers have required me to submit to the oversight of Dr. James Dobson, Pastor Jack Hayford, and Pastor Tommy Barnett. Those men will perform a thorough analysis of my mental, spiritual, emotional, and physical life. They will guide me through a program with the goal of healing and restoration for my life, my marriage, and my family.

And that first thought was: 

Oh my God.  Having James Dobson and his folk work on Ted to "cure" him of his homosexuality.  Ted's going to be the square peg punded right back into the round hole, he's going to land up even more mentally and emotionally fucked-up than he is right now. 

I can see it now: that fake frozen smile is going to get tighter and tighter, until his jaw fractures.  Can't Dobson et al. see that they're the ones who CAUSED Ted to repress his sexuality so severely that he acted out in this very public way?   

   

Mike Jone's "Massage" Ad: "Out Calls Start at $100"

You know, I always choose my massage therapists by their ability to pose nude with strategically-placed stuffed animals. (link safe for work, but not so safe for good taste in advertising.  but then again, it's not really massage this man was selling anyways.)